The Next Step..

Well, apparently God isn't finished with me yet! I am the newest member on the Catalyst East unit with the Christian international repertory theater company Covenant Players. It's funny how God can call us and change our lives in the blink of an eye. This ministry has been sharing the gospel around the world for 50 years. My parents both served as missionaries with Covenant Players (aka CP) for many years and as a young girl I had plans to be a "CPer" as well. It's funny how things turn out huh? Now I'm finally able to use my life long passion of theater as well as continue in ministry and missions.

I've been touring in Ohio for about 2 weeks now and it's been a crazy ride already. Thankfully I've been blessed with an incredible team of wonderful and talented people - Robin, Suzanne and Erin Goettl.

 We've already had 18 performances, in a variety of venues from churches, convent and a school, to nursing homes and a handful of prisons. I'm spending hours every day learning lines (I'm working on my 20th character right now!), and although sometimes I end up with a bit of a headache, once I get up on that stage I know it's all worth it. I am humbled and at the same time excited to see how this ministry has touched so many lives and is continuing to bless so many others. I can't wait to see what else God has in store for me and my team.

For more info about Covenant Players check out www.covenantplayers.org !

Staying Positive

It truly is the little things in life that bring the most joy. On the way back to the orphanage after a meeting with the village committee, I saw two little boys playing ninja (or perhaps the Tanzanian equivalent of kick fighting) on the side of the road. As I greeted them in Swahili they stopped their warrior dance and began to walk with me. One boy, Nuru, I recognized from the local primary school, boldly grabbed my hand and the other little boy scampered around to follow in suit with my remaining hand. We walked on in silence, toothy grins plastered wide on all three faces. 

I have only been back in the village for a few weeks, and it has already been the most emotionally tumultuous experience of my entire time here in Tanzania. It is a difficult confession, as my pride wishes to feign indifference or even preference for my life at the orphanage; however that is far from the truth. In fact, during my 4 week stay in back in my home town over the holidays, there were days when I wished that I didn’t have to return to Sunrise Children’s Home. My heart longs to remain with my friends and family, where life is easy and comfortable. But then I think who can accomplish anything in a life when complacency and mediocrity reign? I must not settle for ease and comfort, but strive for purpose and growth, only then will I attain any measurement of success or achievement.

So here I am, living day to day, trusting that God has some sort of a plan for me, for Sunrise, for these children. Each day is a struggle, but as I focus on being grateful for the many blessings presented to me, then I have the strength to carry on and bless others.

2013 - Here I come!

I certainly hope that 2012 isn't the end of the world... I've got work to do in 2013!

It's been decided that I will be coming back to Tanzania in January of next year. After weighing all my different options, from job offers in Portland, to MBA programs abroad, I have chosen to extend my volunteering commitment here at Sunrise Children's Home for at least a few months. So after spending a few weeks celebrating the holidays with my with my friends and family in December, I'll be back on a plane, or rather a series of planes and buses, making my way back to my tiny little Uhekule village in the Southern Highlands of Tanzania.

While it was a difficult choice to make, I am excited and relieved that I do not yet have to begin the process of preparing myself mentally and emotionally to leave these children and the place that I have called come to call my home. In addition, I know that by persisting in my work here, I will continue to grow both personally and professionally. I have already developed so much emotionally and spiritually, gaining incredible amounts of patience and peace as well as increased sensitivity and adaptability to new cultures. Although I originally came to Tanzania with the desire to bless others, I have received far more blessings in my own life than I could ever have imagined. I am so incredibly blessed to be living here. I just can’t stop exclaiming how much I love my life!

Of course life here isn’t without its share of difficulties. The past few months have ranged from tiring to excruciating. We have dealt with so many challenges recently, everything from turn-over in staff, creating a new committee, to behavioral problems with the children. Sometime I feel like I want to pull all of my hair out, or just go curl up and hide in my room. But through all of this I have learned so much. And I know that with determination, perseverance and a lot of prayer, we will be able to make it through these tough times!

Village Politics

Utilitarianism states that in order to determine what is good or right, you must choose actions that will result in “the greatest good for the greatest number of people.” While I do not personally subscribe to the Utilitarian ideology, there are some cases when following this method appears to be the most rational and ethical course of action. Sometimes this means that we must choose the lesser of two evils, or to decide which way will do less harm. The management of Sunrise Children’s Home found itself in this predicament after a meeting with the village chairman on August 1^st.

There has been for almost 2 years now, a rift between Sunrise Children’s Home and the village government, perhaps the village as a whole as well. Originally in 2009 a village committee had been established to aid in the developing of the Sunrise NGO (non-governmental organization) and the building of the orphanage complex. This committee disbanded in Fall of 2010 while Bibi Kay was in back in the USA visiting family. The reason why the committee resigned was not quite clear, although there was some suspicion that it was due to issues with Fredy, the man whom Bibi Kay placed in charge during her absence.

 In my first few weeks here in Tanzania, I quickly developed an amiable relationship with Fredy. As Bibi Kay’s local partner, he has been an integral part of the orphanage since the inception of the project. He served as the foreman during the construction of the buildings, and then not only was he in charge of the farm, but also drove the tractor and fixed all the vehicles, in addition to all other facility maintenance duties. Above all, he also acted as a father figure to the children, spending time counseling as well as teaching gymnastics. While we did run into a few miscommunication issues over the months, in general I was grateful for his ideas for the growth of the orphanage, but I especially appreciated his heart for the children. I was oblivious to the fact that unfortunately Fredy’s place at Sunrise was a detrimental towards building a positive working relationship with the village.

It wasn’t until that meeting with the village chairman that the direness of the situation was laid out before me. At first we discussed various issues at hand, such as the need for additional staff as well as the idea to start up a feeding program for underweight children in the village. Then I mentioned that we wanted to have again a village committee to give advice for the orphanage. The conversation, up until this point had been fairly pleasant and agreeable, however this topic caused an evident shift in temperament. After a series of evasive answers and vague suggestions, we were able to decipher that many people in the previous committee still harbored negative feelings towards Fredy. Therefore we were informed that as long as Fredy still worked at Sunrise Children’s Home, we would not have the cooperation of the village.

The exact reason for the seemingly collective adverse sentiment is still a mystery; however we are aware that jealously is prevalent and that certain prominent people within the village were coveted Fredy’s position at the orphanage. It appears that many people were envious that Fredy drove the truck and tractor, and was living with wazungu (white people), although he was not from the village, but rather the town of Njombe. There may have been previous disputes that added to this issue, although the pervasive envy appeared to be the primary factor. After Bibi Kay and I discussed the matters from the meeting, we decided to take the Utilitarian approach and ask Fredy to step down from his position at Sunrise in order to build a positive working relationship with the village. Although Fredy assisted in so many different aspects at Sunrise, one man is not as important for the survival of this orphanage as the support of the entire village.

Culture Shock: Baristas, Onions and Stress

When BBK got back from the states and right before I left, she gave me a copy of the book “Kisses from Katie.” It was a very inspiring auto-biography about a young woman (my same age in fact) who has given up her fairly affluent and privileged life in the USA to live in Uganda. Her story gives you that “warm, fuzzy feeling” inside, encourages one to see that compassion and generosity still exist in the world. In many respects I feel that Katie and I are living somewhat parallel lives, but her testimony challenges me. I have given up a many luxuries and opportunities to be here; however she has given up more I have. I work at the orphanage 24/7; however she works harder than I do. Reading this book has encouraged me to take more initiative, to never settle for good enough but to constantly strive for more. 

I finished reading the book during an 8 hour layover in Zurich, and so as I was preparing my imminent was anticipating similar reactions to returning to USA as Katie had felt each time she went back to the states. Yet, I did not experience the intensity of culture shock or the longing to go back to Africa or any of the feelings that Katie relayed in her book. There were only two specific instances while I was in the States that I encountered “reverse culture shock”. The first time was the morning after I arrived back in Vancouver, and we drove up to a Dutch Bros to get some coffee. Our order was taken be a typical bubbly, bleach-blonde barista, who accosted us with caffeine-induced enthusiasm. To say that I was blown away might have been an understatement; it was however a superb reintroduction to the American customer-service standards, which are nonexistent in the Tanzanian lackadaisical society. The other moment of “culture shock” that sticks out in my mind was a shopping trip to Winco with my mom. I was going down the produce aisle, and was astounded at how large the food was! It might sound silly, but I was surprised the most at how big red onions. In TZ, we usually have onions just a little larger than a ping-pong ball, and our green peppers are not even half the size of the ones I saw in the grocery store. I suppose I had forgotten that most of the food we purchase in America is grown with the aid of chemicals and often is GMO. 

It’s so fascinating how living in a different country, especially one that is third world, will change a person. Growing up, I never thought much about purchasing organic foods, and I never intended on having a garden of my own. But now nearly everything I consume is organic from the market or its fresh potatoes, corn, cabbage, and carrots that we harvest from our farm and garden. It’s definitely made an impact on my perspective of the food I eat. Another way in which I’ve changed that I had not fully realized until when I went back to the USA, was that I am so much more relaxed than I used to be. One year ago, I was incessantly tethered to my smart-phone. It was my lifeline; my connection to everything and everyone for professional and personal contacts. My Droid provided constant access to email, texting, pictures, and of course Facebook. Coming back to the States from my life in Tanzania in which I use my antiquated Nokia phone approximately once or twice per day, presented a huge reality check. I realized that in my previous life I was consistently rushing around, attempting to manage my hectic work schedule, with my demanding personal life. On a daily basis, I would schedule some sort of activity into every hour, which would leave me persistently rushing around attempting to make it on time. This caused me to be in a perpetual state of stress. I was simply high-strung. At the time, I didn’t mind it, and in fact I believed that I needed the pressure in order to perform as I was an avid procrastinator. However, during my visit back home this past month, I realized that I have chilled out - a lot! I am no longer stressed out or wound up. I suppose that “Tanzanian Time” has had a profound impact on me, and I like it. Each day is so much more enjoyable when I don’t have to run and rush around, instead I can literally take the time to smell the roses and relish every moment, no matter what I am doing.

The time has come, the time is now!

I arrived in Uhekule during “summer” or the rainy season, and I was often informed that “winter” begins in June. On more than one occasion locals told me that the rains will stop on June 1^st, and to my surprise they were exactly right. May 31^st it rained, June 1^st it didn’t rain, and it hasn’t since. It’s incredible how predictable the weather can be here! I suppose it’s necessary though, since there’s no local news or weather forecast. I am glad that they rain has stopped though, so we can roads again instead of the muddy mess we’ve been dealing with.

The end of the rainy season means that it’s time to start harvesting. Potatoes are the main cash crop around here, and since we need to make our own money in order for this orphanage to become sustainable, we need to sell potatoes. So our staff spent many a day slaving away in the shamba (fields). I made it out to harvest potatoes a couple of times, but I am not used to such physically laborious work that I rarely lasted more than a few hours. Sometimes if we didn’t have enough hoes, the staff would tell me to leave so that one of the locals could work, since they have been doing this since they were probably about 3 years old. We were able to get some of the orphan’s extended family members to come out and help which was a huge blessing; however even with all of the help, our crop was still very small. We only had 8 bags of potatoes to sell from the entire acre we planted. It’s partly because we have bad soil, but also because we were late in planting this year.

On a positive note, we also started planting avocado trees. We are a part of this local avocado group within the village, and so they are teaching us how to plant and raise the trees. In addition, they have connections with an organization that will help to export the avocados abroad, that is once the trees start bearing fruit in the next 3 years or so. In addition, we are also investing in honey bees. I spent a day visiting a local non-profit called ASH-Tech (African Soil Hives Technology). We will purchase some of their soil hives, large cylindrical containers made of clay, in order to raise bees and then sell the honey. We were informed that we can harvest the honey up to 2 times annually, therefore making a 300% profit in just one year. I don’t know the first thing about raising bees or harvesting honey, but I supposed you learn something new every day!

In the midst of all of this work in the shamba, Bibi Kay returned from her 2 month vacation in the USA. I was excited to take her around the site to show her all of the work we had done and projects we had completed. I was also very glad to have some English-speaking company once again. However, she was only home about one week before I was off to go back to America myself! After many weeks of consideration and prayer, I decided that I needed a little pumzika (break) to go back and see my friends and family in the states. Plus, my computer has recently crashed, and no one here could fix it, so the timing worked out quite impeccably that I could go home to have my computer restored in America. So as soon as Bibi Kay had settled in, I started the long journey to my home country.

I left my village on a Monday to go to Njombe, I had to stay the night there in order to catch the 6:00am bus to Dar es Salaam (the main city in Tanzania). After the 12 hour ride, I arrived in Dar and was greeted by two of my Tanzanian friends, Josephat and Mary. Following them through the throngs of people, and making our way on crammed dala-dalas (city busses), we somehow managed to get the three of us and all of my luggage safely to Mary’s home where I had been so graciously invited to stay for the night. It was quite interesting to experience the living conditions of the city residents, which in comparison to the village standards were quite extravagant, but in relation to American homes, they were still just slums. After spending the night with Mary and her family, we spent the next day picking up a few little souvenirs and touring around the city. It amazed me that I traveled all over the biggest city in Tanzania and not once did I see another mzungu (white person) until I got to the airport later that night.

After 32 hours of sitting in airports and sitting in airplanes, I finally arrived in Portland late Thursday night (which is technically Friday morning in Tanzania). The entire journey took me 4 days from my village to my home. Oh the joys of living and traveling in a third-world country! But just being able to speak English freely with my family and the ability to reconnect with my friends was worth every minute.

Never alone, however still lonely...

This was by far the most difficult month that I’ve experienced here in Tanzania, perhaps in my whole life. The biggest issue that I was struggling with was the intense feeling of isolation. Bibi Kay had left to go back to the USA at the beginning of April, and the other volunteer Eve had completed her stay at the end of the April, so I was the only mzungu (white person) in the village. Actually, I was the only mzungu for miles. Of course every day I am surrounded by more than a dozen people, so I’m never really “alone” but only a few of the locals can speak English and my Swahili skills are still in the development stages. There is one girl, Rose, who works here at Sunrise that speaks fairly good English, and we get along well however it’s still not the same. I was unable to attain the depth within a conversation needed to truly build a meaningful relationship with her or anyone else here for the matter. In addition, with the lack of reliable internet, it was difficult to fulfill those needs by contacting my friends back in the states. So there I was, by myself, literally in the middle of nowhere, consumed by loneliness.

Of course I am not one to give up easily, so instead of allowing myself to dwell on my depressing situation, so I absorbed myself in a variety of projects. With Bibi Kay gone I was left in charge and we certainly had a lot of work to do at site; creating new flower beds, harvesting corn and potatoes, fixing plumbing, building furniture for the dining room. I also began giving computer lessons to one of the teachers at the primary school. She knows enough English to get by; however she had never used a computer before, so twice a week I met with her to teach her all the basics. In addition I finally started to spend come concentrated time studying Swahili. Originally I thought that I would be able to pick up the language easily just through daily interactions with the staff and kids, however this has proven untrue. While I have learned a good deal of vocabulary, I wasn’t able to communicate effectively except for simple commands for the children. The day I opened up my Swahili text book for the first time it was literally like a light bulb turned on inside my mind – the language made sense! Immediately I was able to put to use many of the words and simple phrases that I had learned, and form complete sentences. I don’t know why I didn’t crack a book sooner!

I was able to put some of my new-found Swahili skills to use when I attended my first African wedding. A friend of mind who is a teacher at the village primary school invited me to join in the celebration of his nuptials. Not only was I to attend the wedding, but I was to wear the special dress specifically for his close friends and family. And in addition to that, he told me that I would have to give a speech at the reception! Needless to say, the wedding was an entertaining experience. Many of the traditions were comparable to Western-style weddings; however there were many customs that were distinctly different, such as the solemn expression the bride and groom maintained and the purchase of a ticket in order to receive a meal at the reception. Throughout most of the 8 hour celebration, I was unsure of what exactly was going on, but eventually gave up and joined the crowd of 500 Tanzanians in the ensuing insanity of sporadic dancing and screaming, and voracious eating and drinking (only Coca-cola and Fanta, of course). One thing I can say for sure, is that those Tanzanians know how to party!